Sometimes you’re not a person, but a moment. You are a slight distraction from the normalcy of someone else’s life. You are slow-motion and drama and perspective. You’re a real popcorn-crunching time.
That was me the night I drug my tragic black umbrella through the Walmart as tears streamed down my face while I followed my roommate in hopes that Oreos could do something faster than Jesus.
As an INFP-4, this was the first time I experienced feeling without understanding what or why I was feeling (Malarie said my wing 5 was taking over that night). It was half a pack of Oreos before I tapped into the source of my emotions: “I hurt him.”
There’s a song by Civil Twilight called “Oh Daniel.” To me, it’s a story of a man who is caught off guard by his own harm as he repents “Oh, Daniel. I wish I knew what I was doing.”
You can do it all right
Love everyone in sight
Live out your dreams and take on the night
You can do the best
But you’re still gonna end up hurting someone
The harm I’ve done has always caught me off-guard. I was never intending it, never wanting it. Whenever it happens, it builds upon an image of me in my mind that all I do is hurt people. And this image makes it hard to make decisions, friends, and deadlines.
I want to tear down this image today, for you and for me. Because before we truly dive into the discipline of “do no harm,” we first have to see ourselves differently.
The statement, “all I do is hurt people,” is a complete disregard of the healing I bring.
One of the most harmful things I’ve done for myself and for others is to believe the errors of my created self-image. One of the most harmful things I’ve done for myself and for others is to say, meditate on, and believe statements like “all I do is hurt people.”
This semester, we’re talking about identity, and I think this theme ties in well with our first rule of Do No Harm. Because it is impossible to do no harm if we have the wrong image of ourselves.
So before you dive deeper into this rule, start with the true image of who you are: a child of God, who presents you as holy, faultless, and blameless before him.