Aug 23: Empty Seats
I’ll just say it: college can be the loneliest season, right?! Friendships have always been a bit difficult to cultivate and manage, but it seems like making friends in college is a game of hit or miss. Some of us solve this problem by pledging for Greek organizations or joining clubs on campus. Even then, there remain moments where we feel alone, even in the middle of a group.
I remember this feeling when I started at JU almost 20 years ago. I wasn’t concerned about making friends until I realized I had no one to sit with in the cafeteria. My nervousness heightened at the thought of three meals a day every week – all alone. There’s this scripture that I didn’t know at the time, but reflecting on it now makes me think of how I felt:
“God places the lonely in a home…”
Psalms 68:6 (various translations)
What I didn’t realize was that while I was nervous about making friends, God was putting them right in front of me.
When I walked into the cafeteria, I looked out on the sea of college students. They all seemed so happy in their already cultivated & clearly exclusive friendship circles. I resolved that I would just sit alone; then I saw Gabe. I met Gabe at orientation. He seemed like a good guy, but he wasn’t exactly the kind of person I thought I’d get along with. It might’ve been the ponytail haircut he had (it was the late 90s, y’all).
Gabe was sitting alone and there was an empty chair next to him. It should’ve been an easy decision to sit with Gabe, but I honestly hesitated. And again, I did not have Psalm 68 in my head, but I got this sense that God was giving me a friend – all I needed to do was sit in the chair. God had provided; I needed to respond. So I took a deep breath, and some courage, and headed to the empty seat. When I got to him, Gabe made space for me. That was the first of many meals with Gabe. In fact, Gabe was my best friend that freshman year. We’re still friends today.
It’s hard making friends in college. The pressure to feel smart enough, good looking enough, outgoing enough and more can take its toll in the very first days of undergrad. All of these feelings are real. But here is what is also real – God is putting people in your pathway. Good people who want to support you & cheer you on. I know this for certain because many of those people are in CCW. There is always a seat for you at our table. There’s probably other folks on campus too.
I am praying that you would find friends this semester – that sense that God is placing you in a ‘home’ away from home. As I am praying for you, I encourage you to pray this prayer for yourself:
Beautiful God. Thank you for always being with me, even when I feel alone and isolated. College life is no joke, and the pressures to be accepted are real. Holy Spirit, give me eyes to see the good people in my midst. Give me courage to head for the empty seat as you place me in the community prepared for this season of my life. I ask all of this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Executive Director
